Mother’s Day has come and gone but not a single day goes by when I don’t remember my Oma. Oma loved flowers. She grew them, she studied them, she painted them. She was curious and imaginative. She delighted in nature. Today when I see the colors of a fallen leaf, study the bark patterns on a tree and thumb through Ansel Adam’s photographs…. I remember my mother.
Oma was an avid gardner. Back when we lived in the tea gardens she won many medals at the Annual Flower Show at the Cacher Club: once 10 in a single year (1958). That year she took Best of Antirrhinum, Dianthus, (I never heard of these flowers I had to Google them: Antirrhinum BTW is another name for Snap Dragon – who knew! ) Pansy, Gladiola, Carnation, Dahlia, Gerbera, Lettuce, Brussel Sprout and Celery! Quite a remarkable feat considering she was the only Indian memsahib competing against British ladies who are passionate, skilled gardeners and fiercely competitive! My mother gave them a run for their money by walking off with all the medals that year. Dad said everybody got tired of clapping. These medals are old and tarnished. Today I will give them a good scrub. I googled “how to clean silver,” and came up with this method using baking soda and aluminum foil. Let’s see if this works.
After mom passed away. I brought back her favorite book with me to America: Flowers of the World by Frances Perry. It’s a hefty authoritative volume and mom’s copy is much thumbed and covered with gift wrap for added protection over the dust jacket. Mom would put homemade dust jackets on all her favorite books to protect them from wear. Sometime she used pictures from old calendars. I was reminded of this many years ago when I loaned a book to a Thai friend of mine, here in Arizona. She returned my book covered with a homemade dust jacket with a picture of an Arctic wolf. I will never forget that. It touched my heart. That kind of care and reverence for books belongs to older cultures. We don’t see that in America.
Here is a small ceramic dish my mom made by molding clay over a glass form. I fired it in my kiln (I used to be a ceramic artist back then) and my mom painted a sprig of chrysanthemum in deft free-hand brush strokes completely from memory! Today I use this dish for my guitar picks and I remember my mother as I drink my cup of tea every morning.
Have a wonderful weekend, dear friends. Please remember to make time for the ones you love. I have to constantly remind myself of this. It’s so easy to forget. Cheers!
“The celery,” she said, “ makes a nice koch-koch noise when you cut it. So fresh.”
I shrugged. “It’s just celery.”
“You should see the celery we get in India,” Oma said, “thin and stringy, like lizard tails. Everything is so healthy in America. The people with big, white teeth saying “have a nice day.” Even the garbage man who drives the truck with the crab claw to lift your bin, smiles and waves. And do you know what that carpet cleaner man said to me yesterday?”
“He said ‘take care’. Take care.”
I looked at her, puzzled. “He finished his work and he was leaving. So?”
Oma shook her head. “You are not understanding me. He did not say bye-bye. He did not say ta-ta. He said take care. Now isn’t that nice?”
I snorted. “That doesn’t mean a thing, Oma. It’s like saying bye-bye or ta-ta. That’s just how they speak here.”
“Not at all,” Oma retorted. “Take care is what you’d say to your old auntie or grandmother. It shows love and concern for an elderly person. I thought it was very nice of him to say “take care,” but then the poor fellow was in such a hurry, he forgot to drink his tea.”
“That’s the other thing I want to tell you,” I said, “don’t go serving tea and Marie biscuits to workers. They don’t have time to drink tea and chat about their family. Also I overheard you ask him all kinds of personal questions. You don’t ask “are you married?”, “how many children do you have” etc. He must have thought you were being terribly nosy.”
“What’s so wrong? In India, the garbage man, the driver, the newspaper man– whoever comes to my house are given tea. I know all about their families and everything. The driver’s mother-in-law has a goiter on her neck–-”
“People don’t talk about their mother-in-law’s goiter in America. Everybody’ s in a big hurry. Time is money.”
Oma threw up her hands. “Too much hurry, hurry here. You have everything. Big house. Machine for this, machine for that. Small, small gadgets that go peep-peep, ting-ting. You have blacktooth and blueberry, i-ping and you-pong, but what’s the use? Nobody has any time! Why? You don’t even have to get out of your car to open your garage door. If Rekha, my maid saw that garage door open by itself, she would think it was a ghost and run screaming for her life.”
I laughed. It was true. Automatic garage doors are still uncommon in India.
“The other day, your dear husband forgot where he parked his car in the mall,” continued Oma. ” Now, what will you do, I asked. Don’t worry, Oma, he said, I will call the car and it will answer me. “Hey car?”, he called, just like that, and the car honked back and even winked its lights. Imagine a car answering a human? In India even humans don’t answer humans. Too much noise.”
“He’s pulling your leg, Oma. He must have pressed the car key in his pocket.”
Oma ignored me and waved at the fruit bowl sitting on the countertop. “Look at all this nice fruit and nobody to eat it. No time, No time. Hurry, hurry, hurry.”
“Why don’t you eat some?”
“How much can I eat by myself? Too many different things to eat in this house, I get confused. I sit down to cut an apple and you say eat the grapes. Then your husband says, eat the melon, eat this, eat that. Before you know it everything gets moldy and you have to throw it all away. Then back we go again to Costco and load up another shopping cart the size of a rickshaw with more fruit.”
“That reminds me there are strawberries in the fridge. Don’t forget to eat those.”
“I know. I took them out of the box and looked at them.”
“What? Have they spoiled already?”
“No, no, the opposite. They are too beautiful to eat just now. I just like to look at them. I will eat them when they get a little soft.”
“What is the point in getting you fresh strawberries, then?
“Feasting is for the eyes as well as the stomach. I have never seen such big, perfect strawberries in my life. I just want to admire them for a while. They are God’s miracle.”
“Man’s miracle is more like it. I hate to disillusion you but those strawberries must be full of the steroids, hormones or whatever junk they put in them.”
“What is steroids?”
“Something that makes you look healthy when you are not.”
“How can you look healthy if you are not healthy? Sickly people you can always tell. They are thin and malnourished. They have no energy. They look like the lizard-tail celery.”
“Here the sick people look like the strawberries, the healthy ones are thin and stringy like your lizard-tail celery.”
“That makes no sense,” Oma frowned. “I hate to say this, but America has made you into a very cranky person. All the time, this is not right, that is not good, grumble, grumble, never happy with anything. You should hear yourself sometime. Crease marks are appearing on your forehead. It is not very becoming.”
“I am just telling you the facts,” I said, glancing at the clock. I pulled off my apron and grabbed the car keys. “I must run to the post office. I’ll be back. Why don’t you eat some strawberries?”
“And ….” I turned and waved, “take care!”
NOTE (updated 19th June, 2013) Sadly, the following year, Oma departed for her orchard in the sky. These are my fond recollections from her last visit to the US and our lively conversations in my kitchen. Oma was eighty when she died.
I just came across this ancient cookery book (anonymous ) full of delightful quirky and curious information. Here’s one:
434.–To Cure Hiccough or Hiccup
This spasm is caused by flatulency, indigestion, and acidity. It may generally be relieved by a sudden fright or surprise, or the application of cold, also by swallowing two or three mouthfuls of cold water or a teaspoonful of vinegar, or by eating a small piece of ice, taking a punch of snuff, or anything that excites coughing.
(Source: Thackers Indian Cookery Book 1900)
UPDATED: June 7th 2013 Thanks to the delightful Lorna McInnes and Paul Tucker who commented on this post, I racked my little pea brain trying to figure out how to drink from the opposite side of the glass and guess what? Google and thou shalt find! It’s on YouTube!! I didn’t realize you have to bend over to do this (so no wet chin Paul Tucker) Check out this video and keep this in mind the next time you get hiccups! Cheers!
Of course I couldn’t resist adding this video of a tiny baby with hiccups and the twin brother laughing. It cracked me up!
UPDATED June 10th 2013 thanks to a comment by Jo Wolf. Here’s some more time-wasting information.
Here are some known methods to cure bad hiccups :
Hold your ears and drink a pint of water.
Drink a glass of water extremely fast.
Scare yourself, somehow become frightened.
Smelly salts are known to get rid of hiccups
Grab your tongue and pull it hard.
Place one-half teaspoon of dry sugar on the back of your tongue. (You can repeat this process 3 times at 2-minute intervals. Use corn syrup, not sugar, in young children.)
Some other strange suggestions as a cure for hiccups:
Drop a cold key down your back. (Thanks Jo Wolfe!)
Lay on the floor and ask a friend to hold your legs in the air for 30 seconds.
Hold your breath and hop on one leg.
Hold your breath and dip your head in a sink full of cold water (surely hiccups aren’t that bad?)
UPDATED AGAIN! : 5 minutes later 06-10-2013. Alright I officially surrender! I am hopelessly sucked into this completely pointless and intriguing discussion. Here is more about the fascinating superstitions surrounding hiccups
“Did you know that when you hiccup, someone might be thinking ill of you? In some European cultures, it’s your body trying to expel that negative energy that attacks you when a bad thought is created in the mind of another. What is another way to stop the hiccups? Try to think of the person who is thinking ill of you, and say their name. This should stop the negative energy from flowing into you from their head. Let’s hope you can immediately think of that person, like Charles Osborne failed to do. Charles hiccupped for 68 years from the time he was 10 to his death in 1990. Someone must have really hated poor Charles.
In other cultures, such as Russian folklore, hiccups could simply mean someone is thinking about you—it isn’t specified whether the thoughts are good or bad. Apparently, you could also be owned by the devil if you have the hiccups, according to common superstitions, and the hiccups are your body telling you that you have bad luck. In Japan, if you manage to hiccup 100 times, it means you’ll probably be pushing up daisies in a few days. Most of the superstitions surrounding hiccups are alike in many ways.
The accent of one’s birth place persists in the mind and heart as much as in speech
La Rochefoucauld (Maxims 1665)
People say I write just like I talk. Now is that a compliment? I’m not sure. I get teased and imitated all the time. More than my accent, it’s the way I talk–my gestures, expressions etc. The cross-pollination of several cultures, I believe– Indian, British-colonial and American.
We Indians are probably the most imitated people in the world. I don’t find that offensive. I think our funny English endears us. An Indian accent can break up tension, pretty quick. Take a stressful situation, say in a courtroom or workplace. Throw in someone like Appu from The Simpsons (now that’s a gross exaggeration, but you get the idea) and before you know it, smiles will start peeping out of people. This may not work for every situation. Like when your computer is on the blink, the last thing you want to hear on the customer service line is an Indian trying not to sound like one. Speaking of which, who’s seen The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movie? Great movie. Deeply human and touching in parts, I thought.
Indian words have added color and variety to the English language. Most date back to the colonial days. Especially delightful are the double-barrelled rhyming words that are so essentially Indian such as: hurdy-gurdy, tip-top, higgledy-piggledy, hocus-pocus, tit-for-tat, topsy-turvy, harum-scarum, roly-poly ,slip-slop…”
A friend of our family’s (a well-known glutton) would over-stuff himself at our dinner table and refuse another helping saying, “Thank you but I am fully fed-up!”
Another time an Indian student explained her absence in my design class saying she had “the loose motions” (A common Indian term for ‘the runs’). “Oh wow,” exclaimed this American girl, looking impressed. Later the American girl told me she thought “loose motion” was some kind of exotic dance. Like “Do the locomotion“.
Don’t you just love it!!!
If we Indians mess up English, the Brits mess up our language too. “Theek hai Babu” (“alright clerk” in Hindi) becomes “Ticketyboo” for the English. (Thank you Larry Brown for that little gem!)
Consider these British-Indian words which have become mainstream.
PS: If you are a huffy Indian who gets offended by stereotypes please go read some other blog. This is not meant to offend anyone but to revel in our rich cultural uniqueness. I love being Indian.
I love accents – all kinds. French, Scottish, Cockney and Ghetto. They sure give me the jollies. Do you get a kick out of accents? Do you speak with one? Please share.
Cheers, dear friends!
My debut novel “Teatime for the Firefly” (MIRA/HARLEQUIN) is slated for publication in 2013. You can read the synopsis and first chapter by CLICKING HERE. Please leave me your comments. Thank you!